Dante's Purgatory Restaurant Review Blog 08-22-2024

Here are my Top 5 restaurants in the seventh terrace of The Mountain of purgatory!

Number 5 is this cute cafe called The Chasm with good coffee and decent breakfast sandwiches. The vibe is kind of harshed by the souls of the Excommunicated and the whole, late repentants meeting violent deaths things, but I can't really judge. They're just here for their morning coffee just like anyone else. I got the drip coffee with sugar syrup and their default breakfast sandwich.

Number 4 is a small hole in the wall place called The Bees Knees. I mean, it's literally a hole in the wall. Like fully into the walls of the mountain of purgatory itself, gravity shifts once you step inside and you begin falling, falling, falling. You fall for so long it makes you really feel like you're in purgatory you know? No wonder locals like the place. I got their X-treme pasta.

Number 3 is a bit unusual for me. The Satan Pit is big. They've got live music blasted through speakers and a huge floor, plus a dance floor and a bar? There's a lot going on. I wasn't expecting the food to be too good, I was expecting it to be overhyped. The food was... fine? It was fiery, and you couldn't stop eating once you started, so in that sense it was good. The vibes were unmatched though, and I thoroughly enjoyed my time there. I got several margaritas (lost count) at least two glasses of wine, a beer, and... some sort of food. I.. don't.... remember? I had a good time though. It's big. It had... music... and sounds.... and there were people standing around and.. dancing? And I was at the bar and... I...

Number 2 is McDonalds.

Number 1 is the Pizza Factory. Seven dollar large cheese pizza now that is a deal that is TOO good to pass up. They really do oven bake it over the flames of hell, and you get to see it. It adds a zest of sin to each slice that you really can't get in the mortal life. It has seven slices, one for each sin (though they don't differ too much in flavor unless you ask them to). Not sure where they source the dough or the sauce or anything else, but it is really unlike anything else I've ever had.

This post was written by Snow as part of writchal24 as an author swap. Find the piece I wrote for them here.